Dear Chemo

Dear chemo, you have kicked and torn me apart. How can it be that the one thing to cure me must push me down into the deepest of trenches where there is no room left to breathe? That in order to heal I must first be broken down into pieces? How feeble my mind is, for it to crack within seconds. This evil poison cannot be defeated by man. How ignorant to think that I can overcome this by my own willpower.

I ask for divine intervention, God, step in for me - I don't want this, I cannot defeat this on my own. I look to you, my savior - to intercede - to carry me. I see my husband's tears, I see little hands reaching out to play. Met with nothingness. An empty shell of a woman... a ghostlike figure wandering the halls of my own home.

But then a glimpse of hope, my body returning, little smiles, little laughs, the love surrounding me. God is with me, he takes my pain upon him - I give it to you, Lord - take it all. I cannot continue with it. I surrender it all to you.  

When there is only darkness pressing down on me - I look to you to show me the glimpse of hope, my body returning, little smiles, little laughs, and the love surrounding me.